you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
