he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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