thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize