Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize