your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just want to make out with him forever
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
True college students do jello shots in the library
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
