tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
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Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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