So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize