Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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