The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
