fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
