Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
