Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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