No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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