I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
