real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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