How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
