I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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