You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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