i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
