The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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