is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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