Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
