I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
