You just made me feel so damn special
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
