I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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