i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
