I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
