im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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