I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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