and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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