Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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