i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
