there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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