I smell stomach acid.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
