marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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