I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
