other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
