I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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