Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
