He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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