make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
