if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
