Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
