she peed on how many people?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
