Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
