Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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