Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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