hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Less talking, more tequila
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
