Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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