My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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