whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
