he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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