If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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