Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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