Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
