the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
