Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize