i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
