we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
