her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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