Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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